What do women get from this drinking culture? First, there’s the idea that drinking makes
you easygoing and free, helping you to be more spontaneous, to do and say things with less self-
censure. This can give you the idea that a better, more fun, and friendly version of you will
emerge under the influence of alcohol. Second, women drink to feel included and accepted, to
not be different from their friends, to be part of the group, to be treated as a member. Third,
alcohol can give you space to construct a social identity with the most outgoing parts of yourself
and without judgment from others.
With this new social identity, you can connect with other women and accumulate social
capital, defined by Granfield and Cloud as “the social relations … and the resources that

potentially flow from these relations.” 1 In the feminine drinking culture, alcohol is an essential
resource for accelerating social cohesion, expanding social networks, and enabling friendships.
The most important reinforcing aspect of the feminine drinking culture is that while
women feel tipsy or “barely drunk,” willingness to be vulnerable increases and can lead to
developing a strong bond, with confidences and closeness shared that create a sisterhood
between the women involved. Loyalties develop; we take care of each other. The problem is that
if alcohol is the main, unifying component of a group dynamic, the group members will always
seek out and include alcohol consumption in order to maintain that same level of connection,
reinforcing that dynamic.
In this scenario, drinking moderately or not at all contradicts the normalization and
expectation of drinking. Pressure to participate in the feminine drinking culture is linked with
belonging and trustworthiness: “If you don’t drink, you don’t belong. We can’t trust you.” The
woman who is reconsidering her drinking or choosing to be alcohol free becomes an outsider, a
stranger who can’t be trusted. Group members may feel judged by a sober person and are likely
to avoid inviting that “miserable sober” woman to the next get-together.
Women who want to drink less or take a break from alcohol often feel they have to
manage the situation carefully in order to not be rejected or have others conclude that it must be
because they have a problem with alcohol. The typical assumptions are that (1) if you’re not an
alcoholic, you don’t have any reason to quit, and (2) if you stop drinking, you’ll miss out on an
important component of life and social situations.
Managing this might mean preparing a “good excuse,” such as, “I’m genetically
predisposed to alcoholism and can’t drink more than one glass,” or, “I’m taking one dry month
for health reasons or because I need to lose X pounds.” Because women face so much pressure
regarding their appearance, “trying to lose weight” or “being on a diet” can be seen as strong
explanatory factors for taking a break from alcohol, being sober curious, or alcohol free.
Your friends can make you feel uncomfortable if you choose to drink less or refuse to
drink. “Why?” they may question and challenge you, as though something is wrong with you.
Their questions and social influence may wear you down over time, making you question your
decision or change your mind and revert to your old drinking habits, sabotaging your progress.
Some people or groups will do whatever it takes to get you to drink again, because in their
minds, you’re missing out on all the fun, and they want to “help” you.
Running the risk of being excluded from your usual social group(s), especially if they
drink a lot and feel uncomfortable with your change of pace, is a real social pressure that women
face. Underlying the feminine drinking culture is the idea that women should drink alcohol, that
we need alcohol to have fun, to enjoy an experience, to feel spirited. If we’re anxious in social
situations, we may drink (or feel we “should”), because alcohol makes us relax and have more
fun. The implicit belief is that people and events are boring and constricted without alcohol. But
with alcohol, it’s exactly the opposite—anything and everything is possible.
References:
. Robert Granfield and William Cloud, Coming Clean: Overcoming Addiction without Treatment (New York:
New York University Press, 1999).

Lamberghini-West, A., Triplett, P., (2024, 06/09). TIPSY, A Woman Self-Guided Method for Managing Alcohol.
Copyright (2024) unpublished manuscript